Lazy to blog!

Because I have no patience to type out a blog post, I shall conveniently copy an essay I wrote 3 years ago and plonk it here! (sec 3 & 4 students, it might give you some ideas on reflective essay writing)

My most memorable musical experience
My most memorable musical experience was in 1999, when I performed on stage for the first time. It was a students’ recital organized by my piano teacher and he wanted me to play a work for two pianos with a fellow student, Ching. I had known Ching for sometime already and we got along well because we had similar musical interests and we both loved J.S. Bach. It was not easy to find a Bach work for two pianos but our teacher suggested that we do his Trio Sonata in C in a version arranged for two pianos by Victor Babin.

Ching decided to do first piano and I, second. We examined the work away from the piano initially, and realized that the two parts are rather equal, with no one part subordinate to the other. The challenge of this piece lies in playing the notes articulately and cleanly, and blending the two parts into one harmonious whole. With that in mind, we began our rehearsals. At first, it was sometimes difficult keep up with each other, especially when we were too much engrossed in our own parts. But as the rehearsal went along, and as we knew our own parts better, we learnt to listen more to the other person as we played, thus seeing the logic of the whole piece better. I also learnt to project my playing more whenever I had the principal melody while to play softer and ‘act as accompaniment’ when Ching had the melody.

Finally, the big day came. We were performing at Victoria Concert Hall and staring out at the many rows of seats from the stage before the concert was rather daunting. How were we going to project ourselves and our music to the rows of audience out there? However, our teacher kindly advised us to just enjoy the music and be our usual selves.

The moments before going onto the stage to perform the piece was indeed nerve-wracking. Questions flooded my mind. “Will everything turn out alright?” “How will the audience respond to our playing?” As I pondered on these, I took a few deep breathes and calmed down by telling myself that I love music and if what I am about to do is what I enjoy, then why should I be nervous?

It is strange that at the moment when my fingers touched the keys, most of the nervousness that I had felt before disappeared and I thought only about the music. I realized that when you are totally focused on the music and desire to communicate through your playing, worries about the presence of the audience and what they think of you disappears.

As I played, what engaged me was projecting myself more than what I usually do because I was then playing in a big hall and my teacher had always reminded me that the playing must reach out to the person seated at the very last row. I was also paying attention to Ching’s playing, listening to how he shaped the phrases and trying to match them so that the playing sounds homogeneous. As I engaged more with the music and desired to share my love of the music with the audience, inhibitions were overcome and I began to enjoy playing the piece more.

I think what made this experience so memorable was that through it, I came to realize that the nature of performance is one where you have to engage with the audience and to communicate your ideas about the music. To do that, you must realize that you are doing something you love and desire to share this love with the audience. Easier said than done, although I always tell myself to abide by this philosophy, as I performed more in the following years, nervousness still creeps in from time to time. But during times like that, I will look back on this first performance on stage and remember that to perform with naturalness and confidence is to be fully engrossed in the music and to be focused on projecting the music to every member of the audience. Of course, I have to remember to ‘be my usual self and just enjoy the music’ too.